Tag: mum

My Unsung Hero

Brett0 comment

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It is no secret that my Dad is my hero, however I am blessed to have two heroes and today I want to share something about my Mum. Many people often ask me how my Mum is coping with things (dad’s dementia), so I thought I would take the time to say a few words about her.

My Mum (Jan) is a quiet and understated person and has a unique set of qualities that are extremely valuable. She goes about her entire life in a supporting role to all our family members but without doubt she is the most pivotal and influential. Mum is always there for us no matter what….It can be a winning moment, a losing moment, a tragedy or a triumph….the one constant is that she is always there to be proud of us or help pick up the pieces. She has earnt the right to tell us when we have ‘crossed the line’ and is famous for setting the highest benchmark standards for us to aspire to.

Like many mums she is happy flitting around the kitchen preparing food and making cups of tea. I recently observed her going about her business and I noticed the selfless manner she looks after our extended family. She made sure she fed us first and she would always be last to eat and was constantly asking how we were all going and if we needed anything else.

Having Dad with dementia has galvanized our family but has also educated us all and allowed us to grow as people. Mum has been steadfast in her loyalty and commitment to Dad and has not only been there every step of the way, she has thrown herself into danger so many times. When Dad has been very agitated she would place herself within Dad’s personal space to try and calm him down to protect him, protect the care staff and also the other residents. The potential for her to get hurt is very real indeed and her brave approach has been amazing to say the least.

The way she has coped with Dad’s illness has been incredible and she has looked after so many other residents within the nursing home when resources have been stretched. Mum is in the nursing home every night making sure Dad is comfortable and well fed and has hardly missed a day in all the years Bob has had dementia. I am so grateful for her for being there for all of us and making sacrifices to ensure we all live well.

You may be surprised that my Mum does not read my posts, my website or see me speak in public, and that is totally ok with me, as we all deal with dementia differently and I respect that. The reason she doesn’t is she is living with dementia every day and having to read it back can be extremely difficult to cope with. I have her blessing to share our story and am confident she will one day gain comfort by reading this post and knowing we made a difference to many other families in a similar situation.

The partners of people with dementia really do it tough and my Mum has been both inspirational and legendary. If I had to describe Mum in 3 words they would be loyal, compassionate and honest.

Mum rarely takes a breather and we will be looking after her when she needs us most. Now is the time for her to follow her passions and do things to please herself (without guilt) and create her amazing artwork. Mum has the talent to be one of the best artists around and I hope she will be exhibiting real soon.

Bravo Mum…..You are the best!

PS – the pic was taken last year when Bob had mobility.

The Secret Is Out…Bob Has A Guardian Angel

Brett1 Comment

That angel is my Mum, Jan.

Up until now Jan has been quietly looking after Bob nearly every day and dealing with everything dementia can throw at us. However today (without her knowledge) she has burst onto the internet in a cameo role on the new Eldercare promotional video. Jan turned up on the day of filming and was helping me calm Dad (who was having a bad day) and next thing we knew she had become the star of the video. She was actually so busy caring for Dad that she forgot the cameras were still rolling, and had no idea this video would one day be made public.

Jan is very shy and I am sure she never wanted our dementia story in the public arena (let alone on the internet), but I want to take this opportunity to sincerely thank her for allowing me to share our story to help others.It is extremely difficult battling the ‘dementia rollercoaster’ at such close range and Mum has been an absolute inspiration to myself and my brother and sister.

Jan has probably broken the record for the most visits to a single resident in nursing home history, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. Jan is also an unsung hero that has not only committed herself to giving Bob the best care ever, she has also helped many other residents within the nursing home when required.

I can’t begin to tell you what an amazing person Jan is, but I am sure from the video you can tell that we have been blessed with an amazing, loving mother that has taught us so many life lessons just by being her. I have had a ‘Brady Bunch’ style upbringing thanks to my parents, and I want you all to know that in over 50 years of marriage they have never argued ….fact!

I would also like to acknowledge all the people with dementia who do not have the support of family and friends and hope that ‘Dementia Downunder’ can be a family for them also.

Bravo Mum & Dad!