david

Yesterday I was fortunate to be asked to a lunch meeting with one of the leading international dementia care trailblazers in the world, David Sheard.

David is the Founder of the UK based ‘Dementia Care Matters’ which is a company that is offering a different way to caring for people with dementia in nursing homes.

Amazingly, he is considered controversial and ‘out there’ by many in the aged care industry, but when you sit with the man and just listen to him talk he is simply passionate about people and how they are treated. This really resonated with me and together we talked dementia for two hours without hardly taking a breath. (We almost forgot to eat our delicious meal at ‘Sean’s Kitchen’ Adelaide Casino).

Our meeting was simply a lesson in life and stripping things back to the core values of all that is good about being a person. I hung off every word that was said hoping to absorb more knowledge and learn from one of the best in the world. We talked about environment, feelings, living in the moment and so much more. I feel really privileged to be given an insight into an alternative way of doing dementia care…..but should it be the new mainstream, and is it the new ‘black’?

Key aspects of the care model include:

• Developing small household living for people with dementia in a family-like environment

• Removing institutional features such as staff wearing uniforms, medicine trolleys, and rigid ‘task-based’ routines

• Enabling greater freedom for people living in the home to do more for themselves and feel less restricted.

It has been running for over 20 years and it all made sense to me and with over 100 care homes adopting his ‘Butterfly House’ model of care (including 3 sites in Australia) it is obviously working and really needs to be given strong consideration. I worry that mainstream aged care is doing things the same way they always have, and possibly using methods that were developed many decades ago.

Love him or loathe him, David Sheard is a passionate ‘down to earth’ guy that actually CARES…..isn’t that what we all want in a nursing home?…genuine care?….certainly worth consideration.

It was also an absolute pleasure to meet Peter Priednieks (Director of Learning) and spend time with Andrew Ramsey (CEO Hands On SA). A great time was had by all.

I was totally moved recently by an 80 year old man with Dementia called Duncan. In the middle of a recent lunchtime in the dining room at the aged care home, he stood up in front of 40 other residents and carers, as he had something very important to say. Pots were clanging, people were talking and the ambience of the room was busy and stressful. Duncanpushed back his chair, stood up, and then loudly addressed the room.

” Excuse me everyone, my name is Duncan for those that don’t know me, and I have something important to say…”.

Duncan then delivered an impromptu speech, which was one of the most powerful & heartfelt speeches I have heard. Duncan silenced the room as he emotionally pleaded for someone to come forward with some ideas on how he can find his wife who was lost. He would accept any idea, no matter how silly, rude or crude ( his words) as any idea would be a good one as he was desperate. He told us where he last saw Ruby, and that he needed to find her as she would be missing him greatly.

After two minutes of Duncan telling us about his love for his wife Ruby, he thanked everyone for listening, burst into tears and sat down. The entire room was in shock and no one knew what to do….there is nothing in the care manual that says how to handle such a situation.We all wanted to help him and come up with an idea to find her.

The nurses weren’t sure whether Duncan needed further medication to calm him down, the carers did not know whether to give him a hug and comfort him, or tell him to be quiet and finish his meal.

It was an awkward silence that left everyone speechless.

The saddest part about Duncan’s story is that Ruby will never be found as she died 12 years ago. This is the toughest decision in Dementia….do you tell the person with Dementia the truth that a loved one has passed away, and crush their hopes and reason for themselves living? Or do you tell a white lie and give them hope of one day reuniting with their loved one?

This is Dementia….

Tag: david

Dementia Care Matters – ‘A Lesson on Being Human’

The Speech that left us Speechless