The Rollercoaster Ride Never Stops…

I thought I would share another little chapter in our journey which I am hoping some of you may learn from, and many others probably understand or have seen this situation. Dad was having a very average day yesterday and when I turned up the carers told me that he was unresponsive and vague. He was also leaning to the right hand side again and his mouth was hanging loose. Straight away I thought he must of had a TIA (mini stroke). His obs were perfect and he was well checked over and we just let things ride.

Today I went into the nursing home and Dad lit up when he saw me (as per usual), held my hand for a while and spoke a few mumbled words. I was relieved as I thought there was improvement on previous day. Two minutes later I watched his eyes change colour, they rolled back and went all sorts of directions and he went pale. He was having a TIA right in front of me! The nurse was really good and fetched an oxygen cylinder and we left the mask on him for 20 minutes and he slowly started to smile again. Phew!….

I re-visited him in the afternoon and his emotions were shot and he was erratically crying, he had twitching in his arms and he was dehydrated. I gave him a few glasses of water as he sat and watched Andre Rieu on tv for the millionth time:)

I noticed he had a dry mouth and his lips were a bit stuck together. It is these ‘small signs’ that we need to look out for as family members as they possibly could be missed by our very good time-stretched carers. Imagine having your very dry lips stuck together and a dry mouth for hours with no-one noticing? It must be irritating and uncomfortable. I drove to the chemist and bought some ‘paw paw’ cream and placed it on his lips – giving him instant relief.

Dad is ok but now really vague and his mind scrambled as he recovers (last time it took 3-4 days).He is trying to smile and tap his fingers to the music without much success. It is these times that our family goes into overdrive and we step up the caring and monitoring as his capabilities are temporarily impaired. My Mum has been doing a sterling job going in every night for the last few months to ensure he is clean and dry before he falls asleep and has the most comfortable sleep he can have. Onya Mum!

Hopefully some good lessons & learnings for all in this story.

Thanks

‘Dementia Downunder’ – Youtube Channel

I  just wanted to remind you all about the Dementia Downunder Youtube Channel. I will be creating a series of short videos over the next few months that will allow me to share my tips about positive dementia care. The future videos will all be 3 minutes or less in duration and will cover my Top 10 positive dementia care tips.

I have created two videos so far with one released today which is an excerpt from my very first presentation as a dementia advocate (Dementia Friendly Communities). It demonstrates some of the lifestyle activities I am involved with at the nursing home plus a few funny stories. This short video was taken 8/9/2015 but certainly covers my thoughts on dementia friendly communities.

Please subscribe to the channel by clicking the ‘SUBSCRIBE’ button.

To view the two videos click below:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCkk3w2JPGuEXdcmDApabVsg

download-3

Dementia Friendly Community – Barossa Valley

‘THE SENIOR’ NEWS – NOVEMBER ARTICLE

Everyone’s Favourite ‘Online Dad’ – Bob Partington is in print on page 9 of The Senior News beaming out his trademark smile.

This photo was taken a while ago when he was mobile.Collecting leaves was something he enjoyed doing as it was a meaningful activity that kept the outside areas of the nursing home tidy.

To view the entire publication click : http://www.thesenior.com.au/digital-paper/sa-digital-papers/

Lifting Me Higher & Higher

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The patient lifter….. This has completely changed the game for us.

To be perfectly honest I had no idea there was such a contraption and over the years I heard the carers talking about these machines, but I never saw them used. Dad’s latest decline has happened fairly quickly and we have gone from standing and shuffling everywhere to being lifted and wheeled everywhere (within a month or so).

Bob no longer can stand up, walk or bear his own weight so now needs to be transported in a harness via a hydraulic lifting machine into a chair, bed or anywhere else for that matter. When you see your loved one suspended in the air inside a harness, (a bit like a baby in a stork’s mouth) you start to question where they are at. Not much has shocked me over the journey but I did find this procedure confronting the first few times. I must admit it went through my head, “what kind of existence is this?”. Dad now needs two carers to deal with him and us family members feel a bit helpless as we can no longer play the lead caring role. This physical disengagement can be hard to deal with when you have been so ‘hands on’ for such a long time.

I tend to now go back to spending the ‘quality time’ with dad (as a son visiting) and actually let the carers do their work. Before dad can be lifted anywhere he has to be rolled over a few times to allow the harness to be attached. They use a fabric sheet called a ‘Slippery Sam’ (that’s what they call it at our nursing home) and they place this under the resident. This allows the carers to roll the person from side to side to allow the harness to be fitted. The carers tend to have discussions about which colour straps to hook on the lifting machine as I gather the person’s height and weight may have something to do with this decision? Once the colour is selected they hook the harness on and the lifting begins. I am told the harness straps need to be carefully placed for the men. (if you know what I mean…)

Mum or I may help the carers by re-assuring dad with some calming words and firm hand holding. When they first lift him up the feeling for dad is one of fear and terror as the harness takes up his weight and suddenly elevates him mid-air. He is moved around the room like a crane and is dangled quite high above the bed which makes you a bit nervous. He is then placed in a shower chair and wheeled into the bathroom or placed into a princess chair where he now spends his day.

This new part of the journey has been difficult for our family as we have to hand back the prime responsibility of caring to the paid carers. The carers do an amazing job and it is really hard work in trying conditions. Amazingly dad has been really happy once placed in his princess chair (or is it an ML chair?). Once he is ready for the day he usually has a snooze straight after due to exhaustion as the showering procedure is really labour intensive. It is amazing how humans adapt to new conditions and dad is no exception.

When I turn up to the nursing home now I find him perched up in his chair in the main communal room laughing at other residents. He is relaxed and still produces that trademark smile that keeps our spirits up. We continue to banter and laugh in our very own version of ‘Nursing Home Seinfeld’…..a show about ‘NOTHING’.

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City of Playford – Dementia Forum

 

The City of Playford Dementia Forum was held at the Grenville Hub.

Presenters were Brett Partington, Rob Crouch and Lynn Field.

A very engaged crowd of more than 70 consumers and caregivers were in attendance. Thank you to Leah Norris – Dean and Caroline Brandon for hosting and organising the event.

The event was also the launch for Syd’s corner in the Library. Syd was a popular local who passed away from dementia.

PS – Thanks for having me back again to speak and also for the delicious gift!

 

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‘Random Act of Manliness’ – Robbie’s Chop Shop

 

Who would have thought a haircut could bring a man so much pleasure? If you haven’t heard of Robbie’s Chop Shop in Adelaide you ain’t in the ‘cool crowd’. Robbie Ferrante is the charismatic owner of a unique ‘males only’ barber shop at Hyde Park who yesterday did something that just placed him in the ‘legend category’.

But first, I need to give you the vibe on Robbie’s business – it has a 50’s style barber shop feel with a chequered floor, and attracts a crowd that is either buffed, super smooth or a combination of both, ranging in age from 18-50. While us shaggy dudes are waiting to be shorn we take in some loud ‘grunty’ beats, have a beer, chill out and chat….oh, and get a great haircut. The ‘chop’ is almost secondary to the unique experience where every guy is greeted as though they are a member of the gang and been a life-long friend. The vision for the shop is that it is the last male frontier and is a unique form of man sanctuary.

They don’t take bookings, you have to line up ‘soup nazi’ style (Seinfeld) along a wall and wait your turn to jump on the next available barber throne. The difference with this establishment is that the customers have to work out who is next in line and we all nervously jostle along the wooden bench to make sure we don’t jump the queue or worse still, miss our spot. As one of the cutters becomes available he yells out really loudly ….”WHO’S UP NEXT BOYS?”. At this point you jump at the chair with all the machismo you can muster to let the other customers know that you were next in line, and there is no question about it.

There is plenty of testosterone-fuelled bravado as the customers pour into the shop and greet Robbie, who commandeers chair #1 near the front door. He offers you a signature ‘elbow handshake’ (as he has scissors and a comb in his hands) and if you are from his home country or wearing a white singlet and gold chain you may get a ‘man-kiss’ on the cheek. If you are an old guy like me you get a handshake and a “How’s it goin’ man?”. You get swept up in the macho atmosphere and instantly feel like getting an arm full of tattoos, a nose piercing or maybe for those less adventurous…buying a ‘chop shop’ cap.

So what did Robbie do that was so special? Well last week Mum decided Bob needed a proper man’s haircut and was on a mission to find a ‘barber style’ guy for the job. So she high tailed it up King William Road and stormed into the ‘Chop Shop’. She was pretty headstrong this day and did not see the “Men Only” sign in the window, or the shop full of guys lined up against the wall. With the eyes of the entire place on her in disbelief, Mum went up to Robbie and told her story about her husband with dementia in the nursing home who couldn’t get a decent haircut. I can just imagine the awkward scene as she rattled off her concerns and asked if someone could visit the nursing home and cut dad’s hair? Robbie then made a split second decision and said “no worries, I’ll do it”(probably to get her out of the shop quickly).

With dementia, you never know how the person will wake up, and how long it will take to shower, dress and prepare them for an appointment. Luckily we were having a ‘good day’ and Bob was in a good mood and comfortable. Robbie instantly bonded with Bob and chatted with him like every other customer, even though the mumbled responses came back in ‘dementia-nese’. Bob nodded off to sleep as he was given his haircut in his room and seemed to really enjoy the hypnotizing buzz of the clippers. When the haircut was done Robbie went up to Mum and said “This one’s on me…no charge!”.

That goodwill gesture earnt him a big hug from Mum plus he has just recruited 4 new customers (Bob, My boys and I) and credibility as one of Adelaide’s Good Guys!

Bravo Robbie!

 

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International Action on Dementia – Adelaide Oval

 

Ita Buttrose was the MC and is also the Ambassador for Alzheimers Australia. Dr Ron Petersen is one of the most influential men in the world when it comes to dementia.

He was President Ronald Reagan’s personal physician and his written 700 papers and 5 books. He is also on the International Dementia Council.

I posed a burning question to both of them on the microphone regarding what advocates can do to influence Govt to provide more money for the elderly, which was challenging:-)

It was great to meet Dementia Downunder members Martina, Rachel, Chrystal and Heather. Plus catch up with Ian Gladstone, Nicki Peaston, Helen Brauer, Theanne, David Coles , Jen plus the Alzheimers Australia Team.

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Today was another amazing day with some of the international heavyweights in dementia care and research.14358861_10155116796464918_4863819412719444317_n

A Very Special Moment Today

 

 

I had lunch with Dad and Feisty Fred at the nursing home today. Once again it delivered some more memorable moments for me.

Dad had one mouthful of his pea and ham soup in a mug before accidentally dumping the entire contents in his lap (straight after his late shower). I cleaned him up and the carers kindly offered to change him again for me afterwards. He was happy regardless, and we both ate together on our own table for the first time in 12 months.

Feisty Fred turned 96 today and I was honoured to spend time with him as he opened his present and we sang ‘Happy Birthday’. Fred took full advantage of his birthday status and felt it was appropriate to lay a ‘birthday kiss’ on his favourite female resident. It caught all of us off guard and he delivered a very energetic and entertaining kiss on the lucky lady. No-one knew where to look.🙂

He then blew me away with the following comment that certainly made my week.

Fred : “I have been thinking about you as I remember that we had spent some wonderful time together during a group activity.

Brett: that’s good, was it golf? Or perhaps balloon tennis?

Fred: “I can’t remember what it bloody was but I believe it involved companionship and friendship, and I really enjoyed it.”

<mind blown >

Brett : “……I have no words”.

This is dementia …..

(and is why these people need to be nurtured and respected)

PS – I also took the best selfie ever of the two of us ( which I am not allowed to fully post due to privacy reasons)…but will be treasured.

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“Who Ya Calling A Princess?”

Dad is now in in a very comfy ‘Princess Chair’ ( not sure what the proper name is). He is happy again and it is these moments that us family carers hang onto and breathe a sigh of relief for another day.

Great to see Dad looking good and feeling good. The caring regime had changed with two carers required at all times for ADL’s plus the use of lifters and shower chair if required.

The ever-changing world of dementia care certainly keeps us on our toes.

This is dementia…

**Bob Update – This dementia business is bizarre! Dad was in some of the most serious pain I have ever seen him in, and was escalating, and I simply could not allow him to go on without pain relief. He was then prescribed a pain management solution that we administered twice. We were bracing for him to be ‘lifted’ everywhere and never walk again. Well I am glad to say he is getting out of chairs and bed again (with two carers) with no visible signs of pain. He is still mobile and shuffling around the nursing home and sitting in normal lounge chairs. I am telling this story to illustrate the volatile nature of dementia and how you just prepare for one situation and it gets turned upside down. Irrespective, we are getting improvements and Dad is smiling again and that is all that matters. This is dementia…

NHMRC – Launch of the Centre of Research Excellence for Frailty & Healthy Ageing

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Yesterday several ‘Dignity in Care Australia’ members attended the launch of this fabulous research initiative that is improving the lives of the elderly.

The event was very unique in that it was hilarious to watch our politicians, medical experts and academics ‘loosen up’ with the entertainment. An aboriginal dancer taught the crowd how to ‘keep moving’ to stay healthy. ( check out the video).

We were not sure if this was normal behaviour at these functions or had we just joined a cult?:-)

An excellent event hosted by the vivacious Anne ‘Willsy’ Wills with an engaging ‘welcome to country’ by Katrina Kalarpina Power.

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